You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need to calm my uterus...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
