I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
