talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Help. Why am I so naked?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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