Sry I called you an 8
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
now i know why i became what i already was.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
