okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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