Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
