I wanna bring you to show and tell
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
