we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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