So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Semen is not good for contacts.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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