There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
