i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
