i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
only you would photoshop your dick
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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