Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
