At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It's Friday. Sex?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
