I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
