i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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