I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
