Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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