Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you

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(404): View more from Georgia

The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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(989): View more from Michigan

TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND

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(440): View more from Ohio

So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs

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(+61): View more from Australia

I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call

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(540): View more from Virginia

After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"

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