I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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