I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
