I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can vaginas get frostbite?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My vagina just clenched in fear
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
