Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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