there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
