Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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