Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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