my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
