I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
