I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
