He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
ugly people sure do ruin things
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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