my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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