I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
