1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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