I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
