you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
