is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
