im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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