If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
