And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
