the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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