I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
