everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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