He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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