the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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