i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
