Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
