you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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