I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
