why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
