Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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