I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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