Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
