i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
