I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
