She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
