well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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