Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize