Well apparently he's into motor boating.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
