Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
